Was I destined to hate 'Barbie' if I didn't wear hot pink?
[Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 57 seconds. Also tried to avoid spoilers on “Barbie”.]
I’ll admit I wasn't expected to be interested in watching “Barbie”. I didn’t spend a lot of time playing with Barbie while growing up. It wasn’t my thing.
When we were in London, Barbie-mania had taken hold. Black cabs. Double-decker busses. Billboards. Magenta was everywhere.
We came back to the States and I was looking forward to watching the Women’s World Cup. But I started to see more and more of my friends talking about how much fun they had watching “Barbie”. I texted a friend and she joined me in seeing it.
I loved it.
What does someone wear to Barbie?
I saw tons of people wearing magenta. I don’t own any clothes in that color, nor do I want to. Went with the monochromatic look. I ended up matching the character who had my favorite line in the movie so it worked out.
For those WHO HAVE SEEN it, I’m going to link to the best take I have read. This paragraph about the mother and daughter was fantastic (lightly edited to remove spoilers):
When not striving to “have it all,” Gloria makes various drawings of Barbies. At first, Gloria seems embarrassed by these artistic efforts, but they ultimately break the tension with her daughter: “They’re weird and dark and crazy—everything you pretend not to be,” Sasha says. And it is in this quiet moment of honesty that Sasha finally sees her mother as a person she can relate to.
Margot Robbie, America Ferrera and Arianna Greenblatt in “Barbie”.
The quote by Sasha, played by Arianna Greenblatt, struck a chord. Also in the film is a great monologue by America Ferrera, who plays Gloria.
Are you one of those people who wants to invest more time in yourself but are unsure how to go about it?
The gist of this monologue is all the different ways women have to contort themselves to be “likeable”. Some of my faves:
Personify competence, but be empathetic
Embody being a team player, yet show leadership
Showcase decisiveness, but don’t brag
Be attractive but not hot so men can’t take their eyes off of you
And don’t forget being F-U-N!
I could go on. This is an impossible standard and anyone who has fought to be this person knows this. When trying to meet an unattainable and subjective bar, you get women who are generally referred to as ‘unlikeable’.
How are Barbie and the US Women’s soccer team connected?
One of my other passions is around US Soccer and the US women’s national team.
You might have read the US crashed out of the Women’s World Cup over the weekend. I’ll recommend Julie Foudy’s podcast, “Laughter Permitted”, for the best take of what transpired.
My sister (east coast) and I (west coast) choosing the nocturnal life to watch the USWNT.
As someone who stayed up or woke up at zero dark thirty for the last two games (midnight and 2am PST), the outcome was a huge disappointment. They had their chances, particularly against Sweden.
The positive to take away is in other nations, women’s soccer has caught up to the US. This makes a more compelling product to watch, which will bring more money to the players (Jamaica, I’m talking to you!). In many countries, women have to take other jobs besides playing soccer professionally because of low salaries.
Unfortunately the negative has reared itself with this team being ‘unlikeable’. I recommend you read Sherrilyn Ifill’s full response.
Emphasis mine on the word ‘unlikeable’.
Ah, yes. Women being ‘unlikeable’. And how does this relate to Go Long’s mission?
I founded Go Long because I was tired of hearing from people, mostly women I care about, that solutions did not exist for the “sandwich generation”. What this means is addressing specific stressors related to being roughly between the ages of 40-60 and being “weird, dark and crazy”:
The main stressors are:
Work: people management roles (including return to office) and job security
Mental health: stress management, managing emotions, parenting post-COVID
Physical health: symptoms related to the menopause transition and impacts from mental health affecting bodily health
Financial security: understanding and managing Medicare for parents while saving for retirement and college for kids
The 1st three items relate to the ‘unlikeable’ thing (see bulleted list earlier). It wasn’t until COVID when people were “ok” with talking about mental health. In the past 2 years, it’s become more accepted to talk about menopause in the workplace although I’m skeptical.
‘Unlikeable’? The women of “Barbie” and the US women’s soccer team
Why are they considered ‘unlikeable’? Because they voiced some uncomfortable truths about equal rights and treatment of fellow residents? Because they were willing to put their reputations behind their principles?
Part of being a proud American means pointing out not everyone has the same rights and privileges as others. This is based on gender, sexuality, race, religion, ethnicity, etc. If that makes me ‘unlikeable’, so be it.
It has cost me financially. It significantly harmed my mental health, which then affected my physical health.
I made a change on how I was going to spend my energy and time.
This is around helping someone to stop feeling as though they are coming up short due to some kind of guilt women seem to be predisposed to carrying. Because society and their expectations.
Yes, the movie “Barbie” is fictitious. But based on $$$, it resonates in today’s world with women trying to be all things to all people, like the USWNT.
You can empower yourself
Are you one of those people spending more time feeling guilty about trying to be all things to all people?
Imagine if you could turn that into empowering yourself.
Think about having more agency over how you spend your time.
When you feel better about how you spend your time, you’ll feel more positive about yourself?
Get in touch by clicking on the link or by responding to this email. I can help you.