Go Long: Turning Career Fatigue into a no-BS Wellness Revolution
This is the final post in this series on my experiences with burnout. I kicked off this series talking about my first burnout crash early on in my career. We then dove into my experience post-9/11. And then I wrote about my move to tech and figuring out what my priorities were. Today’s post gets into some of the trade-offs.
My new career direction
As I closed in the last post, my goals were two-fold: retire sooner and maintain good health so I could continue to pursue the interests I love with the hubs. These goals spurred a new career direction once again.
Our society celebrates linear progression. If you’re doing a good job, you’re rewarded with more responsibility in terms of organization sizes, # of products under your responsibility, etc. Zig-zagging is frowned upon. When I talked about moving back to an individual contributor role from a management role, interviewers would always ask why I would want to take a “step back”. I was honest in my reasons around getting more hands-on with the product. It generally quelled concerns, but I felt that there was still residual judgment.
I reached an inflection point in what I wanted at this point in my career. To achieve my goals, I decided to get back into leading teams again at a large company. I was offered more money and I could capitalize on my superpowers - building products and getting shit done. And then COVID hit a few months later…..
Fast forward to when things were starting to open up once people got vaccinated, I decided I wanted a role that had more opportunities for in-person collaboration. Not everyday, but something where I could go in and meet with people to accomplish specific tasks. I took a role with a company that was headquartered in Seattle.
Credit: GaudiLab
Picking a new role based on what I thought others wanted of me
In reflecting on why I took that role, I fell into the ego trap. I was interested in the technology but not passionate about it. I was very interested in solving the problems associated with building and delivering that came up in the interview process. It was a promotion in terms of title. I thought it would allow me to build and lead. Ultimately the role didn’t satisfy any of the hopes that I had. If I had been ‘eating, drinking and sleeping’ the promise of that specific technology, that would have been different.
But I wasn’t. I was having nightmares around the execution and the politics. Every day became a “survive and advance” exercise, which is never good on a long-term basis. There seemed to be a focus on optics instead of business results. Things that I told to some people in the spirit of being more vulnerable and open were then weaponized against me.
Toxic positive positivity rears its ugly head again
Let’s give it up for more of that “toxic positivity” that I referenced in the last post! I am of the belief that you can be positive about a product, but also have candid discussions about how it can be improved - whether it is around the concept itself, the execution, the marketing, whatever. But to discourage dissent only does a disservice to all of the product stakeholders, especially your customers.
In the midst of all of this, I was also managing some health issues for my parents back east. It was a lot. The one thing I had under control was my eating and my workouts. I focused on that.
Burnout creeps back again
My phone had a work profile setting, which I would shut off when I came down for dinner and not turn on until after my morning workout. It wasn’t enough. The hubs was concerned. My therapist was concerned. My weightlifting coach was concerned. I was concerned. In that sense, the fact I knew enough to be concerned was kind of a win. It showed that I saw what was happening.
I realized I was on the equivalent of “career autopilot”. I was following the most attractive career path that everyone else was following. Even though it was so obvious that I was unhappy, I kept justifying the move with outward logic.
Then another thing was happening, which I was not aware of, but should have been. It ended up being the impetus for Go Long.
Perimenopause hits me hard
Say hello to perimenopause. I was having some of the more well-known symptoms associated with perimenopause such as irregular periods and hot flashes. I had a check-up with my doctor and she asked what was going on. She knew things were “off”. We got into it all. The dark moods. The lack of quality sleep. The stress. The hot flashes. Everything. She was pretty confident that what I was feeling wasn’t “my fault”. So we started MHT (menopause hormone therapy).
In reducing my perimenopause symptoms, the MHT brought much needed clarity that I needed to be in a different work environment. I knew I didn’t want to hit the same low point that I had hit previously. My time in that role came to an end. I was processing a lot. At first, it felt overwhelming and then after a few weeks, it settled down. The MHT was doing its thing and I was starting to feel more like me.
The idea for Go Long starts to take shape
In my time off, I was looking for a job and also started to do more research on perimenopause, osteoporosis and the impacted demographic. Then an idea was planted in my head by a person who had recently come into my life.
I had recently decided I wanted to go back into healthcare tech. It’s a difficult industry as many have tried to solve the problems that plague the US system and have not been successful. But I was passionate about it. I proactively kept up to date on different research and trends. Friends and family came to me with questions because they knew I wouldn’t give them BS solutions to real problems.
At the same time that I was considering whether to move forward with this unnamed project, I received a great job offer. In healthcare tech. Working on data. It checked all of the boxes. Then my therapist asked me a question.
“Jill, which would you choose if you knew you couldn’t fail?”
Fuck. Instinctively I knew. Some trusted friends suggested trying to do both. But I knew I couldn’t do a full time role and build my own business. After doing this for a year, I can tell you doing both would have broken me. The role at the company would have been completed half-heartedly and this idea would not be given the respect it deserved.
I jumped headfirst into Go Long
So off I went and Go Long was born.
Go Long is a coaching service that helps you live the life you want to live. I’ve taken these skills that I’ve learned in 30+ years of corporate work and am now applying this experience to helping others with their health and burnout recovery journeys (one of our more complex problems that we often ignore!).
Through a tried and true process, I can help you break down stressful and high-stakes situations into manageable tasks. I offer a no BS approach, full of empathy for where you are. I help you understand your WHY so that you can actually get healthier vs. just scratching the surface.
Starting Go Long has meant forgoing certain material things and/or trips because I’m obviously not making what I used to make in my corporate career. At least, not yet. 🙂
But would I go back and time and make a different decision having the equivalent of 20/10 vision for the past 14+ months? Nope.
When I talk to anyone about Go Long, I feel motivated, optimistic and excited. I also feel lots of pressure around making this work because I want to be putting more money away for retirement.
But I’m making a conscious decision to do this. Why?
Because it brings me joy.
Let’s revisit the questions from last week’s post that factor into making professional decisions:
What kind of life do I want to have?
What am I really good at?
What work do I get the most satisfaction from?
Who are the people that I love working with?
At this stage in my life, I don’t want to just follow the herd based on what society deems as “successful” in the working world. I want to do work that I’m passionate about and allows me to pursue my personal interests. In terms of my superpower, it’s triangulating disparate data points and figuring out pragmatic solutions.
I found out this is a need in healthcare through personal experiences with both the hubs and me. Our healthcare system is fragmented. It’s based on reactive measures as opposed to being proactive about your health. The data is in siloes, which makes it really hard to get it all together and synthesize what that means for you.
Sure, I get frustrated if I can’t close a prospective client. But then I get motivated to think about why that happened and if I could have done something different.
Then I get to tinker and experiment with my offering. And try again. That’s fun!
I feel more connected to my work than I have felt in years. It sometimes feels strange when everyone is posting on LinkedIn about their promotions and such. Don’t get me wrong. I am happy for those folks. That’s them. I’m me.
My goal is to make this work without burning myself out. I’ve been intentional about how I spend my time without going overboard. I’m ensuring that I’m investing in my own self-care.
I’ve learned that going hard for the sake of going hard is not a way that allows me to show up for myself in the best way possible. As such, it also doesn’t help me show up for the people who matter in my life the most. It’s forced me to get creative in ways that I never considered previously on how to structure this kind of life for myself.
Now I want to do the same for you.
If you want to learn how I can help you on your own burnout or general wellness journey, let’s do a free intro call to connect.